
A Conversation with Ofa and Amber
Northwest Family Life has been going through some monumental changes this last year and a half, with the retiring of our beloved executive director of 32 years, Nancy Murphy, and the acceptance of the wonderful Amber North to the ED position. In addition, Ofa, our extraordinary Onsite Manager at Penny’s Place, is stepping away to spend more time with her family, and Amber has moved in, a stable presence in the transitional home. The two of them have been spending lots of quality time together and we thought we would bring you some of the rich conversation that our Development Director, Nicole, had with the two of them.
Nicole
Ofa, you have been such a blessing, serving as the Onsite Manager at Penny’s Place for the last 4 years. What have been some of the wonderful things about this time?
The most wonderful thing is seeing the women become successful. It’s a blessing to serve God’s people, opening the door of Penny’s Place to anybody experiencing DV. It doesn’t matter who you are, or where you come from… it’s a blessing to open the door to everyone.
Amber, you have worked in the homeless space for more than 10 years, how does it feel to now be at Penny’s Place?
Amber
It’s a tremendous honor to come to Penny’s Place. What I see at Penny’s Place is a beautiful example of what got me into this work, that is, a desire to help provide a safe place for people to land. There were seasons in my life when I needed a safe place to land, and I was privileged to have that in my family and in my network. Not all people have that… so to be able to be part of creating that space at Penny’s Place, where people feel welcomed into community…that to me is what this work should look like. And I’ve gotten to observe that kind of welcome every day in shadowing you, Ofa…. It’s all the extra details of hospitality that you provide Ofa, like making tea and lunch, watering the garden, making sure the space is bright, having the time to stop and listen and build relationships with the women living here…. These things are what make Penny’s Place what it is… And I’m excited to move in and to continue to live into that mission and legacy that you have created.
Ofa
Thank you Amber, my encouragement for you for the next chapter is to make sure that the women feel love and belonging here.
Amber
Thank you Ofa, that word, belonging, encompasses it. I feel like you have offered me belonging, also. The hardest part for me of you moving on to the next chapter is that I just want to spend more time with you!
Ofa
We are sisters forever!
Nicole
What motivates you to serve in this way?
Ofa
I grew up in a culture that is broad (Tongan), where we help each other. My siblings’ children are my children, and my children are also my siblings’ children. You can’t raise Penny’s Place by yourself. I love God so much and I am here to serve him. I call the women and children who come to Penny’s Place, my children. They would call me Mamma Ofa. There is a lot of loss for us in leaving.
Amber
It’s hard to move on to a new chapter when you have given so much. This is still your home and we want to continue having you visit. As you pass the baton, know that you have nourished something that will sustain.
Nicole
What role does faith play in your life / work?
Amber
My faith is core to my motivation, especially in this work. For me, serving is about recognizing the spark of the divine, seeing the face of God, in all people, and honoring the dignity in all people… and understanding that the world is bigger than you. How do we show up as God’s children all together, to create communities that are loving and sustaining? That’s what I think Jesus’ teachings were all about: that connection. Whether that’s a conversation or delivery of services or a home like Penny’s Place, it’s about being that safe place to land for each other.
Ofa
I love that, you should be a minister! For me, if I didn’t have faith, I couldn’t do this job. It’s something that I think about and believe in, though I can’t see it. I use my faith to help people have a safe place where they belong. For me it’s so important to open the door to everybody. Some people say, “Is this a faith place?” And I say yes, but in the same token, it’s open to everyone, we are all God’s children.
Amber
Over the last months, talking with you, and also Nancy, and learning from people like Alisha and Nicole… I’ve come to think that if there is an opposite of violence, it’s probably love… and when we talk about faith, and love being the encompassing principle – “love your neighbor” -…then working to end violence in our communities is really what it’s all about….
Ofa
I see the vulnerable ones and I think of Jesus saying I was hungry and you didn’t feed me or I was naked and you didn’t clothe me. It’s not about only serving certain people. This is a place for all people.
Amber
I think you embody that love so completely, Ofa… I think a lot of the women who live here see that in you as well… . You are an example of that to a lot of people including me! Being around your wisdom and care for people is a big part of what has helped me to feel at home in this organization.
Ofa
And when you love something you just fight for it! Some people have nicknamed me the bulldog because I can be so aggressive in fighting for the needs of the women at Penny’s Place. My heart goes to all the donors, I don’t know how to thank them or express my gratitude to them. Many times I pray for them. People could donate anywhere, why Penny’s place? But I talk to people everywhere I go and tell them about Penny’s Place.
Nicole
How do each of you care for yourself in this work, and what does sustainability look like?
Ofa
Self care is so important, that’s why we bump into each other at the lake. The water is a great way to take care of yourself. I’m grateful for my husband Sosia.
Sustainability is continuing to build relationships in the community, with churches, with donors. At my (goodbye) party, I didn’t know all these people were going to come, I didn’t know I was so important to all these people, and I cried and cried and cried all day.
Amber
I’ve had to learn some hard lessons about self care, especially during the pandemic, it doesn’t just look like treating yourself, but it’s about the day to day rhythms…It’s about creating pause and space for God and mini retreats all throughout the day and returning to gratitude, leaning on your support networks, creating space for a nutritious meal, having practices and things that you fall back on. It’s about leaning on friends, mentors and community,..not doing it all alone is really important! And I think for the community aspect of sustainability, it’s about that leaning on each other, and recognizing this is tough work….It’s tough to absorb stories of hardships and broken systems and trauma on the daily. We really do need the resources of mental health support, recreational activities, and spaces where we come together as a community and talk about how we can support one another and not work as islands.
Ofa
So true. When Sosaia and I first came here, Nancy invited us to go and meet with a group of ministers who meet together once a month, and we introduced ourselves and we talked about domestic violence and how many people we serve and what we do, and also talked with other agencies, other shelters, to let them know about Penny’s Place.
Amber
That was one of the main reasons I wanted to work with NWFL : I saw this culture of soul care that was quite distinct from anything else I had seen or interacted with. I saw that culture in the Board, in meeting you, in connecting with people… Everyone had this ethos of doing life together, and that is really special and hard to find in a workplace these days….and it’s so important for social and human services. It’s so important that you feel like you can count on your workplace to have the resources and support so you can grow as a personas you go through the work.
Ofa
I remember when Sosaia’s dad passed away, the love poured in, people praying for us and messaging us, we feel like NWFL is our family, and it touched so much to our heart, we belong here.
And women coming to Penny’s Place, they say, “Is this a shelter? It feels like a home.” Many women say that when they come here.
Nicole
Amber, what has it been like to sit near Ofa’s wisdom?
Amber
It’s a tremendous gift to sit near Ofa’s wisdom….She offers wisdom not just for the work but for my life in general. Ofa has reminded me of why I got into this work. She’s reminded me that the work looks like loving people, and helping people to come back to life. Ofa, you are vibrant and full of life and I feel like you are a living reminder to everyone who comes through the door, that there is hope…. that there is something more ahead. You have done that for me too, in some of my challenges with transition…. It’s also a reminder that all of the little things matter in this work…. the things like taking a moment to make tea when you sit down with a resident, or making sure that the back yard is pristine. All of those things add up and communicate to people that they are worthy, and you demonstrate that so well with your Ofa hospitality.
Ofa
One of our residents said to me recently, “We should change the name of this place to Miracle Home.”
Nicole
What do each of you hope for the future of both Penny’s Place and NWFL?
Ofa
My wish is to have more houses like Penny’s place. Maybe specific ones just for trafficking victims. Every time I walk Aurora Ave Sosia says, “Honey there goes your children,” because it just breaks my heart to see those beautiful children of God working in the street.
Amber
Part of the reason I wanted to move to Penny’s Place is that I understand Penny’s Place to be the heart of the organization. Everything we do comes back to, “How are we serving survivors in need?” I’d like to continue to see the holistic aspect to what NWFL does, of serving all people who are involved in systems of abuse (victims, perpetrators, children) and breaking generational cycles of abuse – I’d like to see that model move into more spaces, and become even more accessible to all populations and people who could benefit from it. My hope is that we continue to lean into the work, honoring the great legacy and foundation of what has been built here.
Something also unique about PP is the offering of a really in depth therapeutic experience alongside the services, and I think that is so needed and I hope to see more of that in the region as well.
And even though you are moving into the next chapter, Ofa, I know it is not the end of your relationship with NWFL or ours with you! It is just a new season, as with Nancy, as I hope with all folks who become connected into the organization. As we all enter new chapters, I hope we will just continue to add to and expand this great family that’s been created!
Ofa
I carry Penny’s Place in my heart, even when I am not here in body, I am still here in my heart. It takes a whole community to raise the child of Penny’s Place. Isn’t it amazing how God gave everyone different talents? I am so grateful for you, so happy that you came to Northwest Family Life and Penny’s Place, I can see your wings. But you don’t have to do this alone, we are all there.
Nicole
Ofa, what words of wisdom do you have for Amber as she is now living at Penny’s Place.
Ofa
Serve with love. And for me, do you have wisdom for me as I go to the other side of the world? (Spokane).
Amber
I would say just be gentle with yourself. Seasons of transition are an unfolding, rather than a quick new chapter of life. It’s going to be so exciting to see what blossoms for you in this new chapter! I know you are someone who is really openhearted to what God has for you, and I hope you can enjoy that ride and the unfolding and savor the little moments and the blessings as you always teach us to do so well
Ofa
I am so appreciative of you.
Amber
And me of you!
What are you excited about in this next chapter, in Spokane?
Ofa
I went to an interview last week for a homeless organization, and I really felt love. Whatever it is, it’s going to bless me. I will learn.